"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

I spend too much time in  my car.

No, I'm not getting RSI due to constantly sticking various fingers up at other drivers as is fashionable in my little corner of the world.  No, play me a radio ad, any radio ad and I can recite it word for word.

Definitely not cool.  What's worse is that I get disappointed when companies change their jingles - some of them are really catchy!

Now, the new Ginsters ad is an accidental imitators dream.  About 30 seconds of non-stop one liners which I'm pretty sure they have pinched from Tommy Cooper.

Toomy Cooper of course was famous for his one liners and bad magic acts which kind of proved Abraham's Lincolns rule, but it worked for him!

Here are some of my favourite Tommy Cooper one-liners;

1. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
   
2. A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age. 'The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well. '
   
3. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. 'So that was nice.'
   
4. A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'
   
5. A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'  The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'
   
6. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
   
7. 'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ' Is that the local swimming baths?' He said ' It depends where you're calling from.'
   
8. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind' , so he gave me a kite.
   
9. So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house'. He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
   

10. I went into this ice cream parlour and said 'I'd like a vanilla cone'. 
    The assistant said 'Hundreds and thousands ?'. I said 'No - I'll just have
    the one'.

    He said 'knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of 
    freedom in these trousers, yes

There are more here, including some longer ones.

Incidentally, there is a bit of a debate raging within the comedy circuit as to whether or not these are really Tommy Cooper jokes or Tim Vines.

Very similar style, here is a Tim Vine video that is definitely worth checking out.